Here I am sitting in Mimo's (my great grandma) wicker rocker, next to her lamp, embroidered pillow and china cabinet in the corner. As the only grandchild, I have been lucky to inherit treasured antiques that I enjoy. My grandmother loved these pieces of furniture. My mother went the modern design route of the early sixties, linear, simple shapes. I love the old pieces. I don't collect much, it's the connection I have with these pieces that I value.
Here is my first hankie. I'm still working on it. As you can see, my stitching is very simple, I would never finish one word if I were doing beautiful script. So far it says, "My left ovary, thank you for keeping me alive. For holding my deepest most ..." I'll catch you up as I go along. The night before my doctor visit, I also had a scare about my husband, which I could feel in my pelvic center. It made me realize that fear is held here as well.
Some of my thinking about art is changing as I work on this project. I used to think of art mostly as an achievement and a commercial endeavor. I am opening to the healing potential of art on a personal level, rather than theoretical. This is a sweet place to be.
I welcome your comments on art and healing.
I love this awesome mandala from Constance Hart of Conscious Colors. It's not easy to see, but there are many images of ancient goddesses, and the feminine energy is so right for finding out today that my ovary has returned to normal!! My doctor had not held that out as a strong possibility, and I had a pretty sleepless night last night. I was trying to be accepting, but I was pretty scared of losing my poor ovary.
Perhaps these things do just clear up naturally. But many things I think contributed to its return to good health. These are things I did over the past three months:
- Practiced an energy releasing qigong twice daily every day
- Asked for support from some dear women friends
- Received wonderful support from women friends and readers
- Began embroidering one of my gram's hankies
- Looked for meaning in what was going on in my ovary and I realized that mostly, my ovaries are the place where I hold my deepest grief and my deepest fear.
- Started listening again to a visualization / affirmation tape by Belleruth Naparstek, whom I highly recommend
I felt a very strong presence of the mother goddess when I was doing my qigong (which I do outside on our deck). I felt that her energy was moving through me, bringing life and love to every cell. I experienced her as well in the hummingbirds, bluebirds, ravens and finches that have been present during my morning session.
I am very grateful for this rejuvenation. I am still dealing with an autoimmune skin disorder that precipitated the whole investigation into the health of my ovaries. So I will continue to investigate the threads between healing, ovaries, grandmothers, stitching, inflammation in my hands and connections with other women. I'm looking forward to this journey which starts with my story but becomes universal very quickly.
A very big learning I've had, since I have never been strongly consistent with a meditation or movement practice, is that when you commit to a regular practice, be it prayer, journaling, qigong, yoga, or many others, it is important to do it NOW. Start when things are going okay. When you wait till you're in crisis, it's very hard to start a practice, and hard to receive comfort from it. I had been doing qigong once a day fairly regularly for over a year. What I found was that when I needed it to help me cope, it was enough of a habit to be comforting and something I looked forward to. Instead of having to force myself to do it, I was able to deepen into the practice and receive support from it.
May all women who are faced with health issues be graced with tender openings to allow support and healing to lighten their burden.
Here I am sitting in Mimo's (my great grandma) wicker rocker, next to her lamp, embroidered pillow and china cabinet in the corner. As the only grandchild, I have been lucky to inherit treasured antiques that I enjoy. My grandmother loved these pieces of furniture. My mother went the modern design route of the early sixties, linear, simple shapes. I love the old pieces. I don't collect much, it's the connection I have with these pieces that I value.
Here is my first hankie. I'm still working on it. As you can see, my stitching is very simple, I would never finish one word if I were doing beautiful script. So far it says, "My left ovary, thank you for keeping me alive. For holding my deepest most ..." I'll catch you up as I go along. The night before my doctor visit, I also had a scare about my husband, which I could feel in my pelvic center. It made me realize that fear is held here as well.
